Heartbroken and Disappointed
Welcome to reality, friends.
I woke up this morning heartbroken and disappointed, like tens of millions of people. Today, I’m trying to face what reality is telling us.
Reality is telling us that people are sometimes wise and responsible, but sometimes people in large numbers make tragic mistakes with far-reaching consequences.
Reality is telling us that liars, con artists, and criminals can fool a majority of the people a lot of the time by giving them someone to blame and playing to their resentment and fear.
Reality is telling us that we humans all have biases and resentments that authoritarians can exploit for their advantage.
Reality is telling us that older generations, especially of white male Christians, don’t want to let go of power.
Reality is telling us that while some of us have been waking up to our nation’s racism, sexism, and environmental irresponsibility, others are digging deeper into denial.
Reality is telling us that our religious communities have, for generations, failed to teach basic critical thinking and ethical discernment skills to their members.
Reality is telling us that our political parties — all of them — aren’t very comfortable with reality.
But there are other realities that are speaking too.
The oceans are warming. The ice caps are melting.
The poor and oppressed eventually will need solutions … not just someone to blame or scapegoat.
It’s important to remember: Reality isn’t only what is. Reality includes potential for what could be.
4 billion years ago, the Earth was a hot molten lifeless planet. Nobody could have imagined it would some day contain coral reefs, Bach, Bob Dylan, and Beyonce … and you.
In this chaos and disappointment is potential.
We must become chaos artists, my friends, working with a mess to make something beautiful.
Welcome to reality with all its glory and squalor, all it’s heartbreak and potential.
Your breaking heart can hold both …
My friend and colleague Richard Rohr often says that contemplation is meeting all the reality we can bear.
When you can, it might be helpful to get alone, whether it’s in your home, on a walk in a forest or city park, or in your car in a parking lot. If you need to cry, cry. If it would help to scream, scream.
Let your feelings flow. It might help to write them down in a rant or rap or prayer or poem. You could begin by writing, “What is reality trying to teach me?” and then write what comes to you.
And when you feel ready, you can allow yourself to sink into silence and feel not only your feelings, but the comfort and love that is at the core of who you are.
The same love that inspires you to care for others is there to care for you too.
You can welcome all the reality you can bear … and know you are not alone.
Later today, you might intentionally do something kind for some person or living creature. Bake cookies. Write a thank you note. Water a house plant. Play with your dog. Fill your birdfeeder.
You might feel better in the short term by blaming someone, even yourself, but blame turns out, for me at least, to lead to a dead end of bitterness and disempowerment.
So in the long term, I’d recommend taking a different path … toward kindness, courage, and wisdom.
This is real, friends. There is a lot at stake. Just because some dangerous people won the election doesn’t mean they have to determine how we choose to live going forward.
That choice is ours.
Welcome to reality.
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If you feel that explanations would help you … that you need to try to understand why what has happened has happened … you might find these resources helpful:
Why Don’t They Get It and The Second Pandemic.
Learning How to See (podcast)
