Grief and Relief
These are two words I hear again and again from people who have read Life After Doom. Here is a recent email that came in (as always, lightly edited for anonymity) ...
Last year, I attended an event where you spoke in the midwest. I exchanged only a brief mumbled greeting with you, because I didn’t quite realize who you were until after I had continued on my way to my seat, and I was so disoriented and heavy with grief that I had none of my usual tools for connecting with new people in a sociable way readily available.As you spoke that evening, I remember feeling like I could breathe - nervous, tenuous breaths, not yet the full belly-breaths that can calm our nervous systems, but enough breath to keep me alive for a bit longer, then a bit longer. I came into the event shattered; as I witnessed your unflinching look at reality, both the steadiness with which you faced a truly terrible situation and the refusal to offer quick or easy answers, I felt the pieces of myself stop their fractured swirling and come to enough stillness that I could begin to imagine putting them back together.Fast forward a few months, and I am sitting now with your book, Life After Doom. I have found myself in tears a number of times - from grief, yes, and also from some kind of relief. Relief to hear from someone who shares a similar religious background, and can name the harm that has been done in the name of that tradition while also not throwing the whole tradition out entirely. Relief to be in the spiritual presence of someone who is, at least on paper, unflinching, while not denying the hard road ahead. Relief to feel the sanity that exists in acknowledging the dangerous stupidity of the world without needing to get into a gaslighting argument with anyone about whether or not that is real (“try not to be too surprised,” you said. I will try.)For many years I worked in ministry. I left a few years ago - both the vocational work and the institution of the church - when I could no longer stand in that space with integrity without doing or saying something that could cost me my job (introducing the concept of the feminine image of God, for example - the horror!)It has been a lonely road since then, as I am hungry for the sort of community, meaningful conversation, and supportive action that can be experienced through church, but have struggled to find or create something new. As I spent time with you, in Holland and through your book, I have felt less alone. And I will keep trying.The divine in me sees and honors the divine in you.
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A lot of people are feeling the relevance of my newest book …
I just got this email from a reader of Life After Doom: Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart:
Thank you so much for writing this book! It helped boost me over the line to finally DO SOMETHING! It was good medicine to have to look at that ominous title every time I opened the book. Spelling out possible scenarios we face makes it concrete, no longer a theory, something imaginary. I felt guarded when you first mentioned yourself as a former pastor, but later I so appreciated your ability to reframe Bible characters and stories in terms of environmental change in ancient earth history and ancient indigenous struggles.As a Buddhist in worldview and practice I easily relate to your framing: Letting go, letting be, letting come and “maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not”.Your AA analogies are insightful.You include so many and diverse quotes that enrich understanding and insight.I’m in process of rereading it.Thanks again for sharing your journey and your wisdom!
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A few Christmas gifts from me to you
I have been unusually quiet on social media lately. For me, this has been a time of reflection, rest, recollection, realization, and preparation for what comes next. It has also been a time of quiet gratitude ... gratitude for the gift of life, of a loving family, of peace where I live, of enough to eat, of a beautiful home, of health, of meaningful work, of rich memories. None of these can be taken for granted, and while it is foolish to be in denial about all that is in peril in our world, it is even more foolish to let all that is wrong in our world overshadow all that is good, beautiful, and so worth celebrating.
I'm especially grateful for you, all my friends -- old an new ... for all my colleagues (at the CAC and elsewhere) ... for all readers of any and all of my books (especially Life After Doom, which came out this year) and listeners to my podcasts ... for my students and parishioners across the years ... and for my own teachers and mentors.
I've also been thinking of my parents and grandparents a lot lately, and feeling deep gratitude for them, and for all my ancestors.
And, of course, each morning I awaken in a majestic and beautiful living Earth, a web of life that continues to give generously even though our species has done it so much harm.
I want to share a few simple gifts that I have enjoyed recently ... in hopes that they will bring you some extra joy too.
First, one of my favorite Christmas pieces, something I return to each Christmas season:
(Here's a translation of the Latin into English, with some background: https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/o-magnum-mysterium-lyrics-composers/)
Second, this song from a group of children in Ramallah. It reminds us that the original Christmas story itself occurred against a backdrop of violence and agony (Matthew 2:16-18), and that (as Howard Thurman said) the work of Christmas continues each day.
Third, not directly related to Christmas, but a testament to human creativity ... and what can happen when we come together under wise leadership, in the creative Spirit, to give ourselves to beauty and harmony:
Fourth, links to two of my favorite "contemplative photographers" whose work helps me keep my eyes open for beauty and goodness:
https://www.instagram.com/christyberghoef
https://godandnature.asa3.org/oord-photoessay1.html
And finally, we'll let Linus have the last word:
Sending you defiant joy and deep peace this Christmas, dear friends ...
Brian
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Christmas Gift Ideas, 2024
Holiday greetings, friends!
Here are some gift ideas that might fit someone on your list:
For kids: Cory and the Seventh Story is ideal for kids ... and parents who read to them.
For people (especially young people) concerned about the state of the world:
For adults on a spiritual journey:
For people seeking a guide to reading the Bible from a fresh perspective:
We Make the Road by Walking takes you through the whole Biblical story in 52 weeks.
Seeking Aliveness presents the 52 chapters of We Make the Road by Walking as daily devotional readings:
https://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Aliveness-Reflections-Experience-Christian/dp/1478947470
For Fiction and Science Fiction lovers who don't mind waiting until July/August:
https://www.amazon.com/Last-Voyage-Brian-McLaren/dp/1399814141/
And for 2 short ebooks on Bias and Authoritarianism:
https://transactions.sendowl.com/cart?merchant_id=29240
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Heartbroken and Disappointed
Welcome to reality, friends.
I woke up this morning heartbroken and disappointed, like tens of millions of people. Today, I’m trying to face what reality is telling us.
Reality is telling us that people are sometimes wise and responsible, but sometimes people in large numbers make tragic mistakes with far-reaching consequences.
Reality is telling us that liars, con artists, and criminals can fool a majority of the people a lot of the time by giving them someone to blame and playing to their resentment and fear.
Reality is telling us that we humans all have biases and resentments that authoritarians can exploit for their advantage.
Reality is telling us that older generations, especially of white male Christians, don’t want to let go of power.
Reality is telling us that while some of us have been waking up to our nation’s racism, sexism, and environmental irresponsibility, others are digging deeper into denial.
Reality is telling us that our religious communities have, for generations, failed to teach basic critical thinking and ethical discernment skills to their members.
Reality is telling us that our political parties — all of them — aren’t very comfortable with reality.
But there are other realities that are speaking too.
The oceans are warming. The ice caps are melting.
The poor and oppressed eventually will need solutions … not just someone to blame or scapegoat.
It's important to remember: Reality isn’t only what is. Reality includes potential for what could be.
4 billion years ago, the Earth was a hot molten lifeless planet. Nobody could have imagined it would some day contain coral reefs, Bach, Bob Dylan, and Beyonce ... and you.
In this chaos and disappointment is potential.
We must become chaos artists, my friends, working with a mess to make something beautiful.
Welcome to reality with all its glory and squalor, all it’s heartbreak and potential.
Your breaking heart can hold both ...
My friend and colleague Richard Rohr often says that contemplation is meeting all the reality we can bear.
When you can, it might be helpful to get alone, whether it's in your home, on a walk in a forest or city park, or in your car in a parking lot. If you need to cry, cry. If it would help to scream, scream.
Let your feelings flow. It might help to write them down in a rant or rap or prayer or poem. You could begin by writing, "What is reality trying to teach me?" and then write what comes to you.
And when you feel ready, you can allow yourself to sink into silence and feel not only your feelings, but the comfort and love that is at the core of who you are.
The same love that inspires you to care for others is there to care for you too.
You can welcome all the reality you can bear ... and know you are not alone.
Later today, you might intentionally do something kind for some person or living creature. Bake cookies. Write a thank you note. Water a house plant. Play with your dog. Fill your birdfeeder.
You might feel better in the short term by blaming someone, even yourself, but blame turns out, for me at least, to lead to a dead end of bitterness and disempowerment.
So in the long term, I'd recommend taking a different path ... toward kindness, courage, and wisdom.
This is real, friends. There is a lot at stake. Just because some dangerous people won the election doesn't mean they have to determine how we choose to live going forward.
That choice is ours.
Welcome to reality.
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If you feel that explanations would help you ... that you need to try to understand why what has happened has happened ... you might find these resources helpful:
Why Don't They Get It and The Second Pandemic.
Learning How to See (podcast)
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