Q & R: Accountability
Here’s the Q:
I have been on a journey for a while now. I am in my mid-30s, a couple of years ago I was on the staff of a large pentecostal church in xxx. After reading some of your books, among others, and having the opportunity to hear you speak I realized I simply could not align myself any longer with the teachings I had been brought up to believe.
Over many months, and hopefully with some wisdom, I spoke to my leaders and as time went on found myself slowly exiting, first leadership, and then the church. I am now very happily meeting with a small group of friends. I guess I could call it a faith community. And to be honest, there is very little I miss from being part of a larger church.
But I keep coming back in my heart to question of accountability. I am accountable to the community I meet with, but they are all peers. The men I used to be accountable to while a member of a larger church were men of integrity, years and wisdom. Unfortunately, they simply view the world differently to me, and do not consider me to accountable to them if I no longer attend a large congregation, preferably theirs. So I am left feeling slightly disconnected, and wondering where I can find men with more wisdom and age than me, that I can be accountable to. I am sure there are others in the same situation and wondered if you would have any advice.
R:
Thanks for your note. I know many people will nod their heads as they read your story – feeling they’ve been on a similar path. A lot of people have done one of three things to find the pastoral care and accountability you’re seeking:
– Sometimes they find a spiritual director … someone with whom they meet to focus on their own spiritual growth and integrity.
– Sometimes they form a circle of friends who provide that accountability for one another.
– Sometimes they find a network in which to participate – either a network of church leaders or of churches. I imagine that new networks will form especially for informal faith communities like yours … and I also imagine that over time, some denominations will make space for communities like yours as well, recognizing them as “fresh expressions” (really, very ancient ones) of the church.
A cry from the heart for compassion, justice, peace, and equality in Gaza and Israel
June 23, 2025
"It is clear that the killing of over 1200 Israelis on October 7th of 2023 was unacceptable. But the killing of Palestinians after that
in the tens of thousands including women and children is not acceptable."
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