A reader writes: Sexual Sanity

A reader writes …

Just want to follow up on your blogger’s comment who asked about book/s that regard a theology of sexuality. I agree, think it is timely and needs to be addressed, too. As I am a regular blog reader and follower of your writing/thinking; I have increasingly wondered as the dialogue about LGBT issues continue to occupy blog spots, people’s time & imagination, and rile the evangelical ranks- what about our collective sexual obsessions? It is kind of a “mote” in the straight eye, isn’t it?
You have written a little about this too. I suppose this is all very “touchy” thing, but it seems to me that both our promiscuous culture at large and our repressed religious culture need to be called out for responsibility for sexual illness.
{I do not have issues with the LGBT community (at all) but} I do not want a culture focused on gay lifestyles… but wait … I do not want a culture focused on heteroSEXUAL lifestyles.
The portrayal of (insert type here) sex in our world seems SO out of balance. That is why the topic is timely in my mind.
Sex is treated as a commodity in monogamous, “hetero”, non-premarital, Christian marriages just as the culture at large because we do not have a theology of proper attitudes about sex; not laws, dos and don’ts ; but loving, God-centered sexual balance.
I married later, at 40. As an attractive, single woman I experienced all kinds of ill effects (to my mind & soul) from my generation (late 1970’s) to the morays of my evangelical upbringing. Our culture was wrong and the church was wrong.
My relationship with my husband has been better than I could have guessed. Monogamy is awesome but deep love and acceptance (and self acceptance) is the real deal. Sex is a by-product of that heart, but just a small part of it. Quantity of sex is overrated.We are sexual beings whether we have one partner, many, or never have sex- whether we have sex once or 100’s of times; we still express sexuality just by being.
So the bottom line of my comment is to whomever is writing and thinking about a theology of sexuality- culture needs this as well as the church: practicality; form over function; quality over quantity. Please educate the next generations in discretion and sacredness. I’m weary of hearing about people’s sex lives. I’d like to know that you experienced joy, I do not need the details. There is a place for educating about the erroneous ideas of our past (religion, patriarchy, sexism) and our present (sex obsessed culture); but there is more. My son’s generation needs to know the concept of sexual balance, instead of sexual currency.

Well said. Thanks.