home | FAQ |

A reader writes: changing on homosexuality

A reader writes ...

i am, more or less, an all-the-things-you-wrote-about Christian in "a generous orthodoxy" and more, or less ... desirous of being more like Christ.

i loved that book, which i read 6 or 7 years ago. since "life-changing" is an over-used phrase which makes me cringe... i will say your book was transforming ... as it renewed my mind and refreshed my spirit so tremendously. thank you.

today, one of my sweet daughters is a beautiful adult woman, and in a same-sex relationship. like you, the Lord had been working on my heart regarding this subject years before she was and years before i knew of it. yet, when it hit home, i was hurt, grieved, ashamed, fearful, confronted, behaved religiously. since then i have repented, and am now "in transition" ... for lack of a better description.

... i have asked God to teach me about the subject of sex and fornication many times over many years for many reasons. i do not believe homosexuality to be the abomination that the Christian church, at large, condemns; nor do i see some very loving, committed to Christ and loyal to each other heterosexual, unmarried relationships as sinful as most preachers preach. in the Christian community in which i live, my family and friends, i am alone on this issue. if and when i state my views, people think i have "softened" (compromised) due to my daughter's involvement and that i am deceived. as i stated above, the holy spirit convicted me regarding this subject long before that, yet i reacted hypocritically at first, to my own dismay. i do not condemn myself for that as i believe God is in me and with me, even in that ... to bring me to where i am today and to where He is preparing to take me.

lovingly yours, in Christ,

Thanks for sharing your story. As I initially read it, I imagined two scenarios.

The first unfolds back in the 1960's or early 1970's in an American Evangelical church:

... today, one of my sweet daughters is a beautiful adult woman, and she recently married a previously divorced man. like you, the Lord had been working on my heart regarding this subject years before she was in this relationship. yet, when it hit home, i was hurt, grieved, ashamed, fearful, confronted, behaved religiously. since then i have repented, and am now "in transition" ... for lack of a better description.

... i have asked God to teach me about the subject of divorce and remarriage many times over many years for many reasons. i do not believe divorce to be the abomination that the Christian church, at large, condemns; nor do i see some very loving, committed to Christ and loyal to each other second-marriages as sinful as most preachers preach. in the Christian community in which i live, my family and friends, i am alone on this issue. if and when i state my views, people think i have "softened" (compromised) due to my daughter's involvement and that i am deceived. as i stated above, the holy spirit convicted me regarding this subject long before that, yet i reacted hypocritically at first, to my own dismay. i do not condemn myself for that as i believe God is in me and with me, even in that ... to bring me to where i am today and to where He is preparing to take me.


The second unfolds back in the 1950's in a Southern state in the US, with you as a Caucasian Christian parent:

... today, one of my sweet daughters is a beautiful adult woman, and in an inter-racial marriage. like you, the Lord had been working on my heart regarding this subject years before she was in this relationship. yet, when it hit home, i was hurt, grieved, ashamed, fearful, confronted, behaved religiously. since then i have repented, and am now "in transition" ... for lack of a better description.

... i have asked God to teach me about the subject of race and discrimination many times over many years for many reasons. i do not believe inter-racial dating to be the abomination that the Christian church, at large, condemns; nor do i see some very loving, committed to Christ and loyal to each other inter-racial marriages as sinful as most preachers preach. in the Christian community in which i live, my family and friends, i am alone on this issue. if and when i state my views, people think i have "softened" (compromised) due to my daughter's involvement and that i am deceived. as i stated above, the holy spirit convicted me regarding this subject long before that, yet i reacted hypocritically at first, to my own dismay. i do not condemn myself for that as i believe God is in me and with me, even in that ... to bring me to where i am today and to where He is preparing to take me.

No two situations are perfectly analogous, of course. This kind of argument-by-anology doesn't prove anything decisively, and good people still see this issue differently and will for quite a while. But the parallels are provocative.